The importance of core values
Identifying your core values is, in my opinion, one of the single most important things you can do. It makes all the difference in whether you live your life based on your own terms or by someone else’s.
As defined in No Matter What: The 10 Commitments of Accountability (No More Excuses Series) by Sam Silverstein, “When you take the time to discover and define your values, you create an inner peace. You have effectively made decisions in advance of any situation presenting itself. When you need to make a decision, all you have to do is live out your values. Your values become the foundation for all action. And when you totally believe in your values, you know them, you live them, and you protect them. You never allow a decision to be made that would take a value away from you. You live your values no matter what.”
When you understand your values and you begin to truly live by them, you no longer stress over what decisions to make. When problems or situations come your way, you can just revert back to your values. If one of your core values is being in good health, then any time you need to decide what to eat or whether to either watch Netflix or go to the gym, you can simply act according to what aligns with your predetermined value of being in good health. Through living based on your values in this way, you are living on your own terms. You become rooted in what you stand for. Even if it is not always the most popular decision, you will still be at an inner peace in knowing that you are living according to your own values, where you know you are making the right decision based on what you believe is the right thing to do.
On the other hand, if you have not taken the time to identify your values, you may tend to live your life based on someone else’s terms instead of your own. The actions you take will largely depend on how you are feeling that day and who you are with. Ultimately, this may result in you compromising who you are and what you stand for simply to fit in with who you’re with. Maybe not identifying your values means you get talked into going out when you know you shouldn’t because you have a lot of work to finish; maybe it means being convinced to stay and play just a few more rounds of Fortnite when you know you should go to the gym instead; or maybe it means gossiping about your co-workers in an effort to feel better about yourself. Chances are, all will be followed by regret shortly after.
How to begin to identify your core values
The thought of identifying my core values had never really crossed my mind until pretty recently. It doesn’t get taught in schools and it isn’t really one of those things that gets brought up in conversation, so it can definitely be a gray area.
Below is a link to help you get started – it lists several different examples of core values to help get you thinking in the right direction.
A person’s core values should be unique to that person, so it’s perfectly okay if you don’t resonate with any listed in the above link. Some people may value their family; some may value honesty; some may value their spirituality; some may value authenticity; and some may value just simply always being positive. Everyone is different.
When brainstorming core values, as one of my mentors recommended to me, think back to some specific instances in your life that really upset you or times when you were the happiest. What made you upset? And why did that make you so upset, i.e. which core value of yours did that violate? The same goes for times you were happiest – what made you the happiest and why were you so happy, i.e. which core value did that align with? It’s okay if this process isn’t as easy as you hoped it would be. Self-reflection is never an easy process, but the outcome is definitely worth it.
In addition, when deciding on core values that are unique to you, less is more. If you created a list of 15 values, it would be very difficult to focus on all of them and truly live them out. While there is not a set number of core values one should have, anywhere from 3 to 7 values total is a good range to shoot for.
Tips for living out your core values
Success is repetition. Constantly read through your values and remind yourself why they are important to you in the first place – associating a feeling with the values will help with this. For example, if one of your values is your health, think about how good you will feel after you finish a workout. Think about how it will feel to be energized, to have mental clarity, and to know you are doing the right thing by staying committed to something you value. Thoughts combined with feelings will directly influence your behaviors.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Expanded
Implementing any kind of change is not easy, so don’t get down on yourself if you fail a few times. No one is perfect. Be resilient and focus on putting yourself in an environment to win. Surround yourself with people who will not jeopardize your values – one of the best ways to be more positive is to surround yourself with positive people and one of the best ways to be healthier is to surround yourself with people who also value their health.
Additional reading
The book mentioned above, No Matter What: The 10 Commitments of Accountability (No More Excuses Series), is a great resource if you’d like to read more on this. You may also enjoy checking out these books below:
- The Magic of Thinking Big
- Shift Your Thinking for Success
- Discovering Your Authentic Core Values: A step-by-step guide
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